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The Innocence is Gone
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Jo Bitch's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]
Tuesday, July 8th, 2014
10:34 am
Flowers Like You
I feel like telling everyone what's going on between us. I feel like it's complete bullshit that you told me I barely talk to you. Phones work two ways. You're so used to being chased that you actually think I don't even care. I don't know if this will ever even happen because we are both such stuck up assholes. I'm going to be a bridesmaid in October and I'm fucking stoked. I miss my best friend. I hate that she's in the same town and we don't even exist to each other anymore.

Current Mood: aggravated

(kill yourself)

Tuesday, August 6th, 2013
1:02 am
Changes
June 14, 2008: I first saw the guy that would eventually father my child. Drunk, breaking stuff and fighting. Now, I'm considering marrying him. How time distorts things.
I saw my former best friend's father. I asked him to tell her hello for me but I doubt that he will. That sucks. It's so weird not speaking to her for this long. I feel like I have so many questions I need answered. I really want her to meet my son. Not even knowing where she is feels like another universe.
I'm doing makeup again. That makes me happy. Everything got so far off track. My son is keeping me somewhat grounded and stable. He's so amazing. And beautiful. He has my big eyes, my sister's smile and his father's frown. I never imagined loving something so much.
I should be asleep.

(kill yourself)

Tuesday, October 23rd, 2012
1:06 pm
My son will be born in two to six weeks. I'm in Oregon. Everything is so different. I might even get married in the next year. It doesn't feel real.

(kill yourself)

Friday, March 23rd, 2012
1:59 am
My boyfriend is like a dirty punk rock Ashton Kutcher. Finally. The real damn thing.

(kill yourself)

Monday, February 20th, 2012
1:20 am
you ruined art for me
nothing left to say...why would i share it with you..where are you...and i actually care?

(kill yourself)

Thursday, December 29th, 2011
11:39 am
BAssHead
Bite your lip, brace yourself.

(kill yourself)

Thursday, December 22nd, 2011
12:35 pm
So, tonight, it might happen. It is not cold enough for the outfit I planned. OH well. It's not like life ever really works out according to plan. Jb wants me to come to Nashville. Why on Earth after everything that's happened...nevermind. The people that talk to me..all mentioned in previous entries, minus three. Meaning? Tallahassee again attempts to sink it's fangs in and drain me.

Current Mood: determined

(kill yourself)

Wednesday, December 21st, 2011
12:18 am
Dear Prince Charming:
I think you are tricking me again. That is okay, because I need you right now. Florida. I never thought I'd come back (or speak to him again). Weird.

Current Mood: anxious

(kill yourself)

Thursday, July 9th, 2009
1:09 am
Lethargic yet, inspired. Juxtaposition. Mmmhmm.

Current Mood: angry

(kill yourself)

Friday, May 22nd, 2009
3:51 pm
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Perfect word for a perfect world.

(kill yourself)

Wednesday, February 11th, 2009
11:44 pm
Fuck it.

(kill yourself)

Tuesday, September 9th, 2008
6:33 pm
I can't say much about your behavior. Just don't talk to me when you see me anymore. At least not when you're drunk and screaming you love me. Everyone knows you don't. Especially me. You fucked up. Deal with it, asshole felon. Elliott Smith said it better:



"Somebody That I Used To Know"

I had tender feelings that you made hard
But it's your heart, not mine, that's scarred
So when I go home I'll be happy to go
You're just somebody that I used to know
You don't need my help anymore
It's all now to you, there ain't no before
Now that you're big enough to run your own show
You're just somebody that I used to know
I watched you deal in a dying day
And throw a living past away
So you can be sure that you're in control
You're just somebody that I used to know
I know you don't think you did me wrong
And I can't stay this mad for long
Keeping a hold of what you just let go
You're just somebody that I used to know


Also:
my new job sucks. Looking for a new one.

Current Mood: blank

(kill yourself)

Sunday, August 31st, 2008
7:25 pm
I have shitty new job. It sucks. I want something better. I just have to deal with it.
I'm going to bleach my hair blond now.

(kill yourself)

Friday, July 18th, 2008
5:17 pm
not about love
The early cars
Already are
Drawing deep breaths past my door
And last night's phrases
Sick with lack of basis
Are still writhing on my floor

And it doesn't seem fair
That your wicked words should work
In holding me down
No, it doesn't seem right
To take information
Given at close range
For the gag
And the bind
And the ammunition round

Conversation once colored by esteem
Became dialogue as a diagram of a play for blood
Took a vacation, my palate got clean
Now I could taste your agenda
While you're spitting your cud

And it doesn't make sense
I should fall for the king craft of a merit less crown
No, it doesn't seem right
To take information
Given at close range
For the gag
And the bind
And the ammunition round

This is not about love
'Cause I am not in love
In fact I can't stop falling out

This is not about love
'Cause I am not in love
In fact I can't stop falling out
I miss that stupid ache

What is this posture
I have to stare at
That's what he said when I'm sittin' up straight
Change the name of the game 'cause he lost
And he knew he was wrong but he knew it too late
But I'm not being fair
'Cause I chose to listen to that filthy mouth
But I'd like to choose right
Take all the things that I've said that he stole
Put 'em in a sack
Swing 'em over my shoulder
Turn on my heels
Step out of this sight
Try to live in a lovelier life

This is not about love
'Cause I am not in love
In fact I can't stop falling out

This is not about love
'Cause I am not in love
In fact i can't stop falling out
I miss that stupid ache

How dare you. How fucking dare you. I hate you so much.

Current Mood: angry

(kill yourself)

Monday, July 14th, 2008
8:02 pm
So this weekend:
drank
drank more
went to bars
funny shit happened
walked a lot
cooked the kinda bf dinner
slept a lot
cut my hair like Audrey Kitching
and now:
i am tired
i am depressed
i need a job
i desperately miss someone

Current Mood: cranky

(kill yourself)

Saturday, July 12th, 2008
7:18 pm
I've never seen to many stars
(And I'm never gonna see them again)
I've never known such perfection
(And I'm never gonna know it again)
I've never felt so at home
(And I'm never gonna feel it again)
I want to open these veins
And never breathe again
Because the beauty is dead...
Since February 79'
I've O.D.'ed on "lonesome" 22 times
(But who's counting?)
You'd think by now - you would've died
I'm sorry girls - I tried
(Scream these words to me)
If imperfections are illegal
Then you should call the cops
And they should lock me up
You're such a slave to the crying game
(Scream these words to me)
We'll die alone
Picture me in brighter days
With smiles on my innocent face
(Did you forget me?)
I only wanted to be loved
I only wanted to be in love
(Scream these words to me)
If imperfections are illegal
Then you should call the cops
And they should lock me up
You're such a slave to the crying game
(Scream these words to me)
We'll die alone
Could you love a face
Full of tears soaked in song?
I can't decide...
I don't know if its worse to live or die
I am stuck on "never enough"
And the corner of "never again"
Here is a hint - don't call someone
Who just sits by the phone
Leave them alone
I loved the first few days
But its not fun playing a game
You always lose
I couldn't talk to save my life
I couldn't talk to save my life


Current Mood: crappy

(kill yourself)

Friday, July 11th, 2008
12:49 am
I hate your face. Actually, I nothing you.

(kill yourself)

Tuesday, July 8th, 2008
11:28 am
You are so full of bad ideas. I suffer for it. My finger is all fucked up. I feel sick. I'm sad. More sad than before we met. Over it. Goodbye forever Fruit Bat.

Current Mood: sad

(kill yourself)

Friday, July 4th, 2008
6:20 pm
The definition of awkward: living with your ex when you have a new boyfriend and he has a new girlfriend. Add in the fact that both of your significant others are out of town and you are still sleeping in the same bed. Fucking awkward. I cannot wait for the boyfriend to come home so I can hide in his bat cave. You really wouldn't understand unless you saw it, but he lives in some sort of cave. I think he might be a bat. He even has a tattoo of one. So what does that tell you? A fucking bat, dude.

Current Mood: amused

(kill yourself)

Tuesday, July 1st, 2008
9:35 pm
Did I tell you how amazing you are?

(kill yourself)

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